There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
