Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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