whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
