guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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