oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
whose ass print is on the piano?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
