2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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