after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
