I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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