the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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