Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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