Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
