So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
