My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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