Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize