We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
