Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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