he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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