her vagine was all disorganized.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
