Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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