I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
