the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize