whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
