doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
