My brain says no but my pants say off.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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