do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
