I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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