So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
