seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
