Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
