I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
My room smells like vodka and shame
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
