it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
