im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
