How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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