Everything about him screamed your future.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
