He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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