I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
