shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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