That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
