trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize