I am puke
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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