This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
