I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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