If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
