I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
