Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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