at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think I sprained my soul last night
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
