So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
