He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
