I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
