so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He passed out mid-signature
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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