I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
