You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
