lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
