dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
