He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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