You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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