apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
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Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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