is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
