They should really pass out barf bags in church
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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