his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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