what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
